END OF PART 1

Flip disc to part 2.

First Semester is almost over for my senior year which means half of my school year is over.
Lets Re-cap shall we?
(This ish is tottaly out of order)

August - The only thing that comes to mind is dance and me doing damn good in all my classes.

September - Still doing damn good in class, pulled off a fucking 3.8 =). Dance! The whole shenanigan of Heritage High school. Households,
-AND my english class got switched the second week of school. at first i hated it but! Mr. Vaez is so fracking sick. I taught the class how to do the three step. Since then everyone sees me as "The Dancer" >_>
-Then i started filming for the Rival Schools Commercial.
-Seth, Mark, And David Tricking Sessions.
-Non-stop listening to chicago's "Street Player."
-B-Boy Club.
-HOME-FRACKING-COMING. I didn't go to the actual dance but agi*lity danced for it, and we made our best performance, we were the jokers side kicks. Homecoming game, i tottaly chopped it up with this girl. yeeh. :P we started talking but i realized she had a dude so i backed off.

October- RIVAL-FUCKING-SCHOOLS. Agi*lity and Crooks haha! good shit!
-Before that i was filming for the rival schools commercial, i made like 20 versions, and thanks to will it actually showed on the announcements.
-uhh my birthday, we got pho.
-You know what almost every single friday i ate pho with someone. Pho with Joel, Kimi, Dustin, Andy, Darah, Patrick, Paula, AJ, Will, Johnnie, RJ, Mark, i know i'm missing soo much more. but all of those niggas in one month.
-Fullout was the big thing though this month however. I didn't know Dance out of everything could have drama and a buncha dudes could act like bitches including me. The whole thing was, we could only choose like half the team to perform but we didn't tell them until the last minute. We had our medly done, then we didn't turn in the music. we blamed it on brandon. then the whole thing blew up, we were at each other's throats. Agi*lity split up, and we just wanted to whoop each other's asses. After fullout we squash all that dumb ass shit. we became a team, and that was the highlight of October. FUCK YEAH AGI*lity.

November - Thanksgiving wasn't too great, i kinda hated it.
-I loved sociology straight up man.
-uhhh I cant remember which month but will and i went to SD one day kinda out of no-where. he texts me- Dude you wanna go to SD today? i go hell yeah. We go to mitsuwa market place and drive to mira mesa and around SD and play a social game at the mall. Good shit.
- Man i can not remember anything that happened in November.. at all DX OH wait
-i chilled at marks house, we didn't go to kristiny's party, we ended up talking about funny shit and playing games. chyeeh. OH and fucking MW2 preorder pick up, at first i didn't have my ID so the guy didn't let me get it.. BUT! i found it. chyeeh. Partying up with Niko, Cliff, RJ, Pat, Jared, and Spud. but i stopped DX

December - Well it's not over but what happened so far. Well for agi*lity, we had a performance at Lakeside high school. So being dumbasses, me and AJ end up playing MW2 a little too long.. we're late so we rush there with Joel, DJ, and John in the car as well. We're doing good but then we turn onto the 215 instead of going on the I15. We end up in bloody baker's field, the fuck? yeah.. we drove for 2 hours until we got there, 2 feet away then BAM i get the text "yeah we're not gonna dance, go home" Damnit. However we had a damn good story to tell because of a freaking KFC BUFFET. After that was DISNEYLAND. This white girl was all up on me. the entire time. however it was still fun chillin with everyone. the phrase "w'sup den?" was all over the asians. Then the whole white girl ordeal escalated and she's in love with me -_-" she'll get over it hopefully.
-Temescal canyon was sick because people actually believed my accent. Speaking of my accent, i was working on a south african accent, my siblings hate me for it but i fool people and i guess girls like it XD. -There was this christmas party and i emceed some of it, so i used the south african accent, and this lady in front was all "Sir are you from england?" =)
- I love battle star galactica
- I love Snowboarding oh shieeet.
- Johnnie had a suprise party! haha that was siiick XD
- There's more but i'm pretty sure i forgot.

I know you dont care :P i'm writing this because i enjoy looking back at this because i know i'll forget more than half of this if i didn't take it down.
I'm gonna miss first semester because it was the best semester i've ever had.
Here's to the future and the last stretch of Senior year, i hope that It will be what everyone always tells me, Memorable.

-David Dizon. XD

I have a confession

I think i'm gonna meet a Chinese girl in the future...
its weird... O.O

Versus the sea

Is it bad to not care about things sometimes.
It seems lately when someone tells me something i kind of have that feeling of "the hell you tell me this for?"
ahh i guess im just being selfish or maybe because i've been saying IDGAF alot lately.
Safe bet, both.
I must strive to be more caring towards other peoples stories and words.
Because if im not caring towards them then the role will switch.

Blows mah mind

So right now im TA'ing for my favorite teacher Mrs Zides, who's teaching biology as i write this.
man dope class.

In AP Psych we were talking about vision and how neural impulses go through you're eye to you're brain.
well after that, we were shown this moving sillouhette of a girl turning in circles.
The crazy thing about it though however was that, she kept changing directions.
Don't believe me?
here http://www.gizmowatch.com/entry/left-vs-right-brain-test-for-creativity-or-logic/
stare at that for a couple minutes, then turn you're head or blink and try to focus on it again.
it's just mind blowing, and im still trippin out over this maaaan.

alright, it's thursday and in a blink of an eye this school day's going to be over.
so i look forward to tomarow.
xD

Ima Firin mah lazer

I haven't blogged about my day since....
middle school because nothing interesting happens, or when something interesting happens, i dont feel like writing about it.
Well that's about to change
now.

so school went as it should, quickly, steadily and routinely.
after school we had practice for our heritage high school performance.
after that you know just chillin out side playing guitar till we meet up to car pool are the way to hemet.
This is where the interesting things starts.
first off, me johnnie and tim are just chillin at the gazebo right across from the middle school reminicising about ish like going to angela's house for no reason, having that party for kristina, to first practicing there when i was a sophomore in intermediate.
ahh wonderful times.
anyway.
haha as we're doing that, these ten year old kids and they're 13 year old brother i believe show up and sit down on the table next to us.
one of the kids pulls out a menthol marlboro and starts smoking..
in a park..
on a bloody tuesday.
in broad daylight
hahahahah dumbasses
anyway me tim and john are just havin a field day man.
jockin on those kids.
makin fun of them.
soon enough they leave.
and come back with their college friend or whatever with his eleventeen year old girl friend.
next thing you know they bring out weed.
hahaha
wtf?
by then AJ shows up
im cracking up, as we leave im screamin "smokin on a tuesday, smokin on a tuesday, smokin on a tuesday."

alright so we're heading off all six of us squished into aj's truck headin towards this school in the middle of damn nowhere 30 mins away.
traffic.
bam we hit the school
on the way we see this dope ass restaurant called Chinese bistro.
the fact that it was in two cable cars just made it look awesome.
haha so anyway, we're practicing all that in the hallway.
accidentally steven elbows my shoulder and totally just killed it.
thinking it was only small, i push through it DX
haha SO!
we perform, first it was the night rally piece, and we tottaly kill it. all these cheerleaders are screamin and the rest of the females screaming
good feeling XD
then other teams go up
our last one for the night comes up and it's the homecoming piece we've been busting our asses on.
Even though it was extremely messy, we had the same reaction from all the girls in the room =)
haha so after that we said our goodbyes, and the six of us pile up in AJ's car again.
So we're heading towards the freeway and we go NORTH instead of going South.
ahh mah gash
hahah we just go farther away from home
while we're heading there, we're having a field day with the "smokin on a tuesday" phrase, and the "ima firin mah lazer!" oh man AHHHGHGHG
XD
So we head towards perris which is like 10 more minutes away, and we end off in a jack in the box.
seeing as how we're in our basketball jerseys and it says chaprall, it looks like we were flat out look like basket ball players.
so there's a couple cheerleaders at jack in the box and they're just lookin at us.
and so a quick hello kills the silence.
they smile and go "hey where's chaparral from?"
im like temecula murrieta...pretty far off haha
we keep talking, and then i just say "Hey.. how do you get to the free way?"
haha they laugh at us and say "the signs right there"
xD
nice.
haha
so we get our food.
share couple stories, our black friend DJ gets popeyes chicken.
and we say goodbyes to the cheerleaders.
on the way home, more stories.
then i realize, i have a strep throat, and i busted my left shoulder.
BUT
im not regretting any minute of today.
=)

The first day of the rest of your life.

Oh shit im done with summer.
The end of summer is upon us, and what do most of us have to show for it?
A couple of great stories, a few laughs, and maybe one or two tears shed.
All in all we can agree that summer is inevitably coming to an end for most of us.
Especially yours truly seeing as the beginning of my Senior year is tomorrow.
And coming from a family that has already had two other siblings graduate high school at the same school for that matter, puts me last but not least one to graduate from that so called "California Distinguished High-School."

The overflow of emotions that im enduring right now is quite weird i should say. It's a mix of the butterflies in your stomach when you first walked into your 1st grade school or class. As well as the anxiety of seeing the cats you knew the prior year and also, the fear of having a horrible year and enduring those days where you just want to completely give up on everything.
Imagine that all wrapped into a ball, like a chocolate wonderball.
You recieve the ball and you start to chew it open, and BAM you could either get something great like more chocolate, or something lame like stickers.
Then again i just realized i've been getting a mix of both each year.
Well then hell, i want straight up chocolate.

hahaha

Okay i just lost my train of thought due to chocolate.

anyway, I've notice that every year i start school i always do the same thing.
Reminisce and reflect upon my past school successes and failures.
The times when I thought i did my best and i truly did overcome a lot of obstacles.
While those other times i just fell flat on my face and failed.
As i continue to reminisce little thoughts and images spring into my head.
Lo and Behold they're all school related events.

I recall in 1st or second grade my teacher told our class to write a story, and so i asked her if i can do a scary story, she said "of course!"
i did.
it wasn't scary.
But more of a funny story. :P

Another time in third grade, this was after i moved into rhode island, my teacher told us to write a story as well. And so! i wrote a full page and i was excited due to the fact that this was my FIRST time i wrote a full page of words.
However the story did not make any sense.
i thought it did.
My teacher called me out on it and said to the class exactly- "Remember it doesn't matter how long your story is, as long as you have a story that makes sense. Dont make a story and say OH I HAVE ONE PAGE!."
ah jeez. >_>

haha
jumping forward in time, fifth grade i can sum up in one word- Girls.
Sixth grade i still felt like an elementary student even though the school in the OC was built as a rich middle school, i felt lost and confused.
in the midle of sixth grade was when i started... Learning real things.
Like take a shower all the time, and dont be weird, and find friends, and take all the bullying and grow from it.
Middle school wasn't my high point at all.
then again it is supposed to be your middle point of your life right?
Truthfully i nearly hated everyone i knew here at a point due to everything in temecula sucking dick.
angry dick.
hahaha.

But just like everything else in life.
It Takes Time.

Thing don't happen over night, no matter how much we like to think that.
It takes years of suffering and downfall mixed in with trials and improbabilities that make this school quest so worth it.
Because this is the first day of the rest of my real life.
because the other thousand days are tutorial levels, to teach you how to survive.
Thus i should let this year be the first level my life game, and play the hell out of it until i've defeated every damn obstacle and trial and mission that in the end i can say "oh shit im done."








[Insert Picture of David graduating with his Brother and Sister]


xD

Woo remembering time.

When i was of a younger age, i used to live in this one story house in hayward CA, which is like 10 mins away from oakland.
No i do not like the raiders.
But i remember my dad used to make a shet load of home movies, and man those are always fun to watch.
Dad- "When's your birthday?"
Me- "November... November 33!"
(i secretly knew my birthday)
oh man.
that was great.
at night if i couldn't sleep i did the water or milk trick.
where you head into the kitchen at night and drink water or milk.
THEN RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN back to bed because you think something's chasing you.
hahahaha
only me?
okay. XD
but yeah i always thought something was chasing me back then at night.
and i hated going down the hall way because i always imagined a blair witch esque.
(It was the 90's!)
Btw i've always wanted to watch The Blair Witch Projet -_-"
I STILL WANT TO WATCH IT XP
hahaha.

and i still remember the day i learned i stuttered.
I was watching an elvis impression with my dad, and i thought it was the real elvis so i asked my dad if it was. and he said noo it's just an impression.
So i attempt to ask "So did elvis ask his friend to play for him then?"
although it came out "Sss-s-s-s-s-s-s-sooo D-iid."
i didn't even finish the sentence =(
sad story?
nah not really, more like slightly amusing.

Hmm what else.
oh yeah the neighborhood was generally safe.
albiet looks like fucking compton.
and there was this store called Food Max.
Old school food 4 less.
and pwns albertsons.
anyway, me and my moms walked there one night and she got me those Dope ass M&M Crunch.
unfortunately they dont make them anymore.
but when we got home, my brother was crying. and we were like whats wrong?
"i thought you guys got kidnapped!"
=)

buwahaha XD aww.
Oh this other time when we were living in Rhode Island, my brother and i used to just straight out brawl, all the damn time.
i like double axhanded his back. and if you dont know what that is.
it's when you put your two fist together and do a swinging motion like an axe
haha he punched me too.
brotherly love.
=)

Uh another thing...
Oh yeah, i have a tendency to not sleep in my room.
not that i dont like sleeping in my room, it's just, i sleep better if im in a different room or if someone is in the room while im sleeping.. haha
so i always took advantage of the weekends because i just slept on the floor downstairs in front of the TV when i used to live in RI, and i slept in the Guest room for the majority of my time there. again, not because im scared of my room, it's just.
ahh maybe im scared
haha i dont know XD
Especially here. haha XD i slept in my room then i moved to sleeping in the loft for about a year then i end up sleeping in my room again
dude im weird.
>_>
haha i digress.

I like Zombies.
.. i dislike.. In N Out <-- overrated...
Del Taco's Chicken soft tacos are bomb.
i was traumatized by Texas chainsaw massacre in my sixth grade year.
i learned the reason why i don't eat breakfast is because i eat so much in the middle of night XD
oh man.
Memories are the best movies out there.
they shape you and make you like what you like today.

Realit y Cake.

A big piece of reality cake hit me.
although it's been hitting me for a while, i just try to ignore it, but
now i believe it's too deep to ignore.
College.
whats my personal statement going to be?
When am i gonna start my apps?
Should i put all of my activites in?
how many teacher recomendations should i get?
What scholarships am i eligible for?
Can i get my grades up?
are my grades good enough?
did i do enough to secure my future?
gahd all these questions are just soo important, and yet
i try my best to avoid them.
Not anymore.
I want to go to college, and i want to go to a a damn good one for that matter.
Junior college and Community college are a No No.
I'm shooting for a straight 4 year college. whether that be a UC or a
Cal State school.
In my head i keep on thinking "you're screwed david, you're not going to make it into college."
I dont want to keep thinking that.
I'm going to get in.
College is on the horizon, and i plan to have my shit done by the end of November (which is the time college apps are due)
Fuuuuccck.
Why did senior year have to come so soon?
I'm already feeling the effect in the BEGINING of JULY...
and to you underclassmen who are reading this and those of you who dont have to worry about this shit in like a year or two or three.
enjoy your shit right now, school is alot more important than you think.

hmmm...

personal statement prompt one- Describe the world you come from.

the world i come from?
an average life with interesting stories.
My stuttering has in fact affected me in terms of school as well as social interactions.
I hold back questions during class for fear of not being able to enunciate the word completely.


I remember a fucking teacher made fun of me because of it.
Fuck that teacher. Didn't teach me anything other than to NEVER end up like them.

whatever. I've had too many teachers that ironically didn't teach me a damn thing. and it wasn't my fault at all.
They just lack the ability to teach anyone.
ie: my ap english teacher.
who spent the entire class period watching britney spears videos and flirting with her boyfriend.
-_-"

Ahhh.. Schooool, College. DX

Do Work.
and get your shit into gear.

Stay up Kid.

This would seem like a little thing but i just talked to one of my old friends from last year, i barely got to see him at all during this school year cause we parted ways, and he graduated so i congratulated him on
his success. XD

In Intermediate Dance, he would always talk about wanting to graduate and wanting to go to
this college or this other college, and you can tell he really wanted to succeed and make it somewhere
in this world.
And im glad that one of his stepping stones was fulfilled, he graduated high school XD
im really really happy for him XD

The interesting thing he just told me however was somwhat simple but in all honesty, i didn't really think about it.
"best of luck to you too, PLEASE enjoy life as much as you can, cause it hits you pretty hard once youre not a kid anymore. so live it up man, peaaace."

Hmmm.. Thats true though, I'm STILL a kid.
an older kid but a kid nonetheless.
alot of things are handed to me.
and yet half of the time im not enjoying it because i like to think i grew up.
but i didn't, i didn't grow up.
im still a kid.
Why must i deal with all these mind games and hardships already?
Am i getting too ahead of myself?
because it seems im not enjoying life right now.
You know what, i've had it.
I still have time, im only 16, i heard
you're prime age is 28
28! thats 12 years!
in twelve years i could have a muscles and purple contacts
i mean it's just daunting that we all face soo many things and yet we're so
very very young.
Im gonna enjoy life as much as i can, im just kind of mad that i'm
being told this NOW.
Thanks Evan.
Congratulations. XD

-David XD

So for you're enjoyment, im going to post many pictures i still have.



HAHA Oh man.
I think that was Johnnie's birthday party, and we were all hanging out outside.
Me francis janine and chelsea
and we had this picture idea?
of us beating up francis.
Oooohh man.






Freshman YEARR!!!
my only picture with my rotc costume shiet
bull crap year
i hated it.
hahaha. -_-"
Angelique and Chellsaay.



Badow!
8th grade!
Me and johnnie doing the pose.
Francis thought of the idea.
Hahaha we always hung out during break
either behined that building or in the field right next to the building.
Me, francis, Johnnie, and.. ROSS
Whatever happneed to that nigga?
eh i'll know in the future haha XD




G-Dorm.
Me, francis and Ad's SECOND Joining camp.
Now you know i couldn't leave this one out.
ALL of us
looook pretty DAMN young
and we are.
i believe i wasn't even 13 or i just turned 13
before that camp.
so you can see how long ago that was
psst. *3 1/2 years.
that camp, to be honest, and from what alot of people who went told me,
it was horrible. well thats a little harsh
it wasn't up to par.
i thought it was good.
but hey thats just me.
Great times during G-Dorm.
Tito Mike coming in like late at night and we were ALL
talking really really loudly about our CC
he comes in all scary looking "Hey guys, you need to go to sleep right now."
then he turns the light off.
Ohhh mah gaaahd
hahaha XD





The one on the left was the my third camp?
Last major TMECULA ONLY Camp predominately with San marcos haha XD
oldschool.
and the one on the right was my FIRST Joining camp
oh mannn
where the hell did time go?



ehh Um.. *clears throat

Yeah..

Bhahahaahhahaha

Aside from Michael jackson's death,
this was one the more shocking things i've seen.

Fucking hilarious.
gah dang XD

Stoop kid's afraid to leave his Stoop!

Oh Gahd i LOVED oldschool Nickelodeon. XD That was like what made up half of my child hood other than moments of running around or playing with the neighborhood kids, i was sitting and watching Hey arnold or, what was the other one..
dangit i cant remember.. DX
CATDOG
Hell yeah!
The most hated show on Nickelodeon was the one i loved the most.
it made me hate cats for the sole purpose in which i thought they were stuck up
douchebags, and dogs were idiots who were funny.
Well, that goes to show how much i've learned about animals xP.

If you're agreeing with me on this, then you must still wonder stuff they HAVEN'T explained yet like.. What's Arnolds last name?
Or! if you're still a spongebob watcher-er whats the secret ingredient/es?!
or! in rugrats, did angelica really have a thing for tommy?
gahd.
Nostalgia all over again i swear xD

I still love nickelodeon.
Give me back my shows!
Back in the barnyard sucks ass!
XD

Put your back into it!

I'm going to the Bay this weekend. XD
Right onnn XD
i get to see my old family again and see my old house in haystack i mean hayward. XD
Oh btw.
if you haven't noticed, i really like country music.
because when i was driving across country with my dad, he always played
John denver and all these other artists.
and going from bloody rhode island to california, you tend to let your mind wander a little too much.
thus country kept me calm, and actually gave me something to look forward too.
shut up, take a look at what you listen too!
I drink i smoke i jerk?
wtf is that bullshiieeet?

hahaha all you need is
"sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy."
hahaha! XD
the world needs to smile a little more.


xD

Don't Worry, I'll be here.

I'm still standing.
that's plain and simple.
Yesterday was power day, to me it was similar to what pre-con SHOULD've been
for me.
it was powerful to say the least. XD
but there was something about it that screamed, "you made the good choice."
because the lord knows i had something "better" to do than go to power day.
However, im glad i did, it helped me realize alot of things i wasn't taught by the old people. In turn i guess i actually did learn something from power day, it was that no matter what you're gonna fall down, but it's entirely up to you if you want to stay on the ground or stand right back up.




Summer right now is going by steadily, and for that im enjoying it.
I had the grace to be able to see everyone that i haven't seen to much.
And that just put me in a better mood because dang, not being able to see
someone you miss for almost half a year really puts a damper on your thought process.
Probably why i did mediocre in school the end of junior year.
3.0.. YOU CAN DO IT BETTER! XD
but really though i have many goals for this summer.
and since im nocturnal im not about to sleep just yet.
So...
...
Lists!
everybody loves List.
Jovel told me to make a summer list because it'll make me
less bored.
So.
onto the breach my friends.

1. Visit Everyone I know in SoCal at least twice.
Oooo tall order.
2. Get 100 wins in UFC.
shut up im still a nerd i have 60 something.
3. Make ammends with everyone.
yep.
4. Visit Kristina Akanna.
Take my hand i can twist our lines for every situation.
5. Escape from something, and feel awesome about it.
Nothing death defying porfavor. XD
6. Slow Dance.
7. Go to a Daphne loves derby Concert.
8. Get Matts Afro!
Gahd he's from Nor-cal and he has the DOPEST Afro i've ever seen.
9. Shave my head.
10. just kidding, get a new haircut. XD
11. Ride a bike.
because who rides bikes these days?
12. Try hard to realize we might not be together anymore.
My mistake, i gotta live with it.
13. Perform with johnnie again!
Dinner dance was fun, although i forgot the verse. XD
14. Be closer to EVERYONE on the team even brandon and jesse and joey.
15. Realize my stuttering is caused by my mind not my mouth.
16. Hug her again.
17. Hawk my hair.
legit hawk.
18. Reminisce of the old times with people i've experienced it with.
19. Flip off Douchebags.
Whats more fun?
20. Have a dream so great that i want go to back to sleep.
because you start to pretend you're in it again xP
21. Teach Allyson how to use a Yo Yo.
22. Go on a mission trip
Dude that sounds DOPE!
23. Balroom dance :D
24. Get better at Dancing and Graf.
25. Learn how to House Dance.
26. Hang out with my Family more.
27. Extert my anger to something postive.
punching = no no.
28. Learn a BACKFLIP
29. Pwn somebody and say, U Mad.
30. Do just anything to know you'd still wait for me.
31. More..
blah XD

Like Something Out of a Movie.

Dinner Dance which was yesterday or two days ago, happened so fast and yet it was a wonderful start for summer.
The whole show in general was enjoyable albiet me and johnnie performed but still enjoyable haha xP
and it was basically all those cfc-y cats who haven't seen each other in like a year.
So it was mostly a reunion i guess you could say.

Allyson was there.
(this is a freaking novel.. haha)
yep
Ex girlfriend who i haven't spoken too ever since december
and ever since i stupidly stopped talking to her.
after about half a year without talking, it was the first time i saw her.
Now initially my reaction was just embarrassment and uh another word for scared.
because i didn't know what to say or how to approach this whole thing
so the first part of the night i was sitting across the floor while we were basically looking at each other for the whole night.

The Dance came on, and i was walking around with Johnnie; I said,
"Man i really want to just say something to her, to finally just
put things behind us but i just dont know how."
Johnnie then says, "Dude just do it, what's it going to hurt?"
Allyson's standing against a wall by herself looking at the stage,
Perfect moment i suppose.
i walk up...
then i cowardly walk back and punch a wall.
"i cant do it."
i stumble back to my chair and start to wonder, "this may
be my last chance to become friends with her again and put all this
behind us."
I stand up again
then swallow my pride, go close to her.
she looks nice.
right when im near her.
i touch her over the shoulder.
she has that same smile i fell in love with half a year ago.
"hey" she exclaims
"hey uh. can i talk to you?" i say while leading her outside.
"yeah sure"
that same smile.
we walk outside, and the night is blue not black.
i look out and just say "Hey im sorry for, all of that shit i did and
put you through, Junior year wasn't as good after that moment."
she puts her hat over her mouth, i think she's about to cry.
To my surprise she's smiling.
that same smile.
"yeah, it hasn't been to good for me either." she says.
i look back at her. she's still really short
i laugh a bit
she laughs too
"Dont make it awkward!!" she exclaims, punching my shoulder
"Hahaha im sorry! i always do, everything i do has some awkwardness to it."
"You never change david." she smiles again
"is that a good thing?"
"yeah." she says
we talk for an eternity or rather thirty minutes.
she has that same smile.
we hug.
i look down into her eyes.
she smiles.
"i forgive you." she says.
I smile back.
"i missed talking to you, it's been too long." i say.
she smiles.
we go back inside.
Slow dance and we're back in step again.
she leans in close to whisper sweet and sincere
it might not turn out like we plan
but i've got plenty of time on my hands.

The end.

Hm.

This year, like every high school year tends to give me a thoughtful lesson in the end. Freshman year taught me the value of losing someone close to you, and sophomore year taught me to swallow my pride focus more on the future rather than the past. Where as this year, is a little different. In the beginning of the year, I was told that junior year is the longest and difficult year in high-school. Well, whoever told me that wasn’t exactly lying but they forgot to mention one thing. They didn’t mention how much thinking you do over the year, and how much learning you go through outside of the education realm. If I could summarize one major theme I learned this year, it would be what Mr. Newman my English teacher said. Take time finding yourself and finding who you really are because there are so many distractions in the world that in other words, mask our identities. Although it was only a brief mention before we left for Spring Break, it’s one of the few times when one of my teachers actually made sense in the message in which they were portraying to their students.

Most of my teachers in the past had given me a piece of information that I’ve held onto for my whole school career. Some of them quite useful where as other teachers taught me absolutely nothing except to never end up like them. Case in point my first semester English teacher. AP English was supposed to be advanced English, or at least that’s what it said on the course sign up sheet, and seeing as English is my favorite subject, I opted to take it. However I actually did not learn a single thing while I was in that class, except how to analyze the same story for 2 months and going nowhere with it. But, when entering into Mr. Newman’s English class, I was genuinely surprised because on the first week I arrived, we actually discussed as a class about a specific subject. I was sort of, taken aback at the whole situation because I was just expecting to do busy work for the whole period, however the engaging conversations really opened my eyes to how much things you learn by experiencing them. The many discussions we had all aimed to help each and every single one of us students out in life, and for that I thank those lessons my English teacher gave us.

The main thing I learned this year however seemed to stem off of those other lessons. Although only a brief mention it seemed, the idea of finding yourself over the break really had me thinking. “Who am I truly?” Well looking at it in a literal sense, I’m a human male. But what makes us who we are? Is it our actions or activities we partake that make us identifiable? If so, it would seem I would be a dancer, who plays guitar as a hobby, and a youth-group leader. However, is that truly who I am? Or is it the person who I show to the rest of the world? These questions surprisingly manifested from that one statement, “Guys try to find yourself, and try to find who you really are, because of all the distractions in our lives, we lose who we really are.”

So over the course of spring break, I actually attempted to “find myself.” To much avail, I learned a lot about who I was. I learned that I loved connect the dots, reading, I disliked rap and hip-hop, yet the culture I’m in forced me to like it, and I’ve grown a liking to writing short stories. I had the basics of wants and interests; however the distractions that my English teacher mentioned were entirely materials. It soon became not wanting a new coloring book to wanting the new play station, and evolving from the band you liked as a kid to the band your friends like. Every single High-school student can agree with me that, what they are right now is not who they truly are, but who they’re trying to be. Because, do we really know who we are until we achieve what we’re aiming for dating back to kindergarten? We don’t, and that’s a plain fact; however what we should focus on is finding who you really want to be, and who you let shape your personality within your life.

The idea of finding yourself when put in perspective seems a little daunting, because how exactly do you “find yourself?” There’s no set pattern or set objective to finding yourself except you, and your will to realize who you are. That question still remains in my head because honestly, I don’t think I truly have found who I really am yet. Am I really this dancer who plays guitar and leads a youth group, and is an average student at school? Or am I truly just David, the boy who still stutters after many years.

This still escapes me, my teacher wanted to keep that essay for some reason?

whatever. i'll know later on.

Okay por reals.

With the countless projects i have due all at the same time, im not really fretting on the lot of them due to the fact that they're easy as shiet.
However! It gives me a good reason to raise my grade anyway.

In English we have a portfolio which all we have to do is an essay on what you've learned this year.
and honestly that's just too vague for me to answer.
There's just too many things, i guess i can focus on team work or the bullshit of Dance haha, i dont know.
Or Finding yourself, because that's one thing that's quite difficult for me to even grasp right now because, im a bloody high-schooler, im not supposed to know who i am yet..
damn..
eff that..
im still david, i still stutter.
and thats all there is to it.

Hmm.. i guess thats what i learned.
Im still me no matter how much things happen.

XD

So.

11 days of school left.
hell yeah.

No dice.

15 more days of school left, and summer honestly cannot come sooner enough.

Hot as shiiieeeet

Coming from yesterday, it was the cfc-y beach trip.
It really brought me back due to all the current gen folks still active in cfc-y.
The thought came around with the fact that, the old cfc-y around the time i first joined and the year after that were in other words, not to as par as what it was supposed to be. The leaders at that time were in it for the wrong reasons, and it was used as another staple popularity bullshit post.
AD and I were talking about this on the way home, the fact that the old leaders basically left me francis ad johnnie chelsea and janine in the dust to rebuild that shit on our own, kind of left me with a sour taste in my mouth. im still glad that a couple of the cats stuck with us to help us like Rhea and Gielenn but it still makes me feel bitter about the other people who say they're for God and all this ish, then do the complete opposite of what they were telling us a while back y'know.
Gahd i rant about CFC-Y Too much. -_-"

All in all, Last week sucked my penis so bad.
but it was made up due to the wonderful weekend i had.

and i want school and dance to be over, like now.

And and You want to lose weight why?
because youre FAT!

You wanna lose weight why? Because your fat.

I dont like how you waste away your time doing nothing and looking/listening to the same things on the computer. Like for instance right now, im wasting my life writing in this as well. I'm doing the same things and my inner conscious is telling me "Do Something Else!" Like Work or guitar or Ps3. Heavens thats just wrong.

Oh but i have things to look forward to this week XD
Household as well as the possible Beach Trip this Sunday. XD
woooo but we'll see.

aw man im still wastiiing my time DX

XD

Congrats to all the niggas that made advanced dance.
some niggas im suprised that made it
and there is a black guy too.

xD

end of the school week already??

Ap Us Test.
bugger.

i sure bloody hope i do fine on it.
would be a draw back if i did horrible.
DX

so i was searching through some old photos i had and holy shit Hahahaha!!
Dude i almost forgot
how fucking weird and awkward i was
in middle school.
jesus look at that
<------
ahh mann.
those years sucked.

"when i was 11 i prayed to god my life would end at 12, because anything other than that is just an insult" - Sam (The Motel)

hahaha lets do a comparison. then.



Bam
thats
Junior year i believe. and uh my hair isn't as long but sitll an acurrate depiction of.
whatever. xD
anyway it amazes how much (for lack of a better word) Transforming you do over the years you know? times change shit happens you deal with it, it molds you then whamo you're you.

i need another hair cut. XD
and this heat cold thing is wearing me out man.

alright back to the guitar!!! >0

xD

xD

So i taught the locking piece to Agi*Lity Today.

It was fun!
thats about it XD
although i sucked with the details at parts, they got it down pretty well
and i think they liked it, so! i aint trippin too muuuch XD

And happy bird day to my sistaaaar XD
jesus.. 23
faaaack!

alrighty XD

Well.

Usually i don't stay up and do homework, but now i need to focus on school.
kinda late. but not quite. XD Ap tests are this friday for me. and every time i think of ap tests i always think of none other than...

BATTLE ROYALE 1 & 2...

i know it's kinda weird but it's one of those what if questions you know?
What if your ass was plunked onto an island with your whole class and forced to end everyone before they end you.
Great premise, Scary thought. HOWEVER
The Wild Seven in battle royale 2 was dope as hayyyl! XD
although both of the movies rubbed me in a weird way.
it's still great to watch during testing week. XD

cause it makes you happy that you're not a freshmen.
unless you know, you are one
then nuts to that.

Hahaha and im still doing homework..

Gahhhd

Oh bugger.

Tomorrow is the first time I've ever taught advanced dance anything, and quite frankly im scared shiiieeetless -_-"

But eh quite the possibility that i might like it, and hey maybe it wont be the last time eh? However!!
i know i wont be able to think straight and talk straight.
due to my jaggedness of talking IE: Stuttering xP

Other than that things continually go smoothly as this junior year is most def comin to a close.
Tryouts practice tomorrow, am i going? No.

And i like how i was on Agi*Lity after my brother so it's like a legacy that's passing down then ends off somwhere.. over there.

These Niggas are getting somewhere.
SERIOUSLY seems to be my favorite band now a days.

right on. XD

And i still have "Homework"
mann.. Summer cant come soon enough.