Stay up Kid.

This would seem like a little thing but i just talked to one of my old friends from last year, i barely got to see him at all during this school year cause we parted ways, and he graduated so i congratulated him on
his success. XD

In Intermediate Dance, he would always talk about wanting to graduate and wanting to go to
this college or this other college, and you can tell he really wanted to succeed and make it somewhere
in this world.
And im glad that one of his stepping stones was fulfilled, he graduated high school XD
im really really happy for him XD

The interesting thing he just told me however was somwhat simple but in all honesty, i didn't really think about it.
"best of luck to you too, PLEASE enjoy life as much as you can, cause it hits you pretty hard once youre not a kid anymore. so live it up man, peaaace."

Hmmm.. Thats true though, I'm STILL a kid.
an older kid but a kid nonetheless.
alot of things are handed to me.
and yet half of the time im not enjoying it because i like to think i grew up.
but i didn't, i didn't grow up.
im still a kid.
Why must i deal with all these mind games and hardships already?
Am i getting too ahead of myself?
because it seems im not enjoying life right now.
You know what, i've had it.
I still have time, im only 16, i heard
you're prime age is 28
28! thats 12 years!
in twelve years i could have a muscles and purple contacts
i mean it's just daunting that we all face soo many things and yet we're so
very very young.
Im gonna enjoy life as much as i can, im just kind of mad that i'm
being told this NOW.
Thanks Evan.
Congratulations. XD

-David XD

So for you're enjoyment, im going to post many pictures i still have.



HAHA Oh man.
I think that was Johnnie's birthday party, and we were all hanging out outside.
Me francis janine and chelsea
and we had this picture idea?
of us beating up francis.
Oooohh man.






Freshman YEARR!!!
my only picture with my rotc costume shiet
bull crap year
i hated it.
hahaha. -_-"
Angelique and Chellsaay.



Badow!
8th grade!
Me and johnnie doing the pose.
Francis thought of the idea.
Hahaha we always hung out during break
either behined that building or in the field right next to the building.
Me, francis, Johnnie, and.. ROSS
Whatever happneed to that nigga?
eh i'll know in the future haha XD




G-Dorm.
Me, francis and Ad's SECOND Joining camp.
Now you know i couldn't leave this one out.
ALL of us
looook pretty DAMN young
and we are.
i believe i wasn't even 13 or i just turned 13
before that camp.
so you can see how long ago that was
psst. *3 1/2 years.
that camp, to be honest, and from what alot of people who went told me,
it was horrible. well thats a little harsh
it wasn't up to par.
i thought it was good.
but hey thats just me.
Great times during G-Dorm.
Tito Mike coming in like late at night and we were ALL
talking really really loudly about our CC
he comes in all scary looking "Hey guys, you need to go to sleep right now."
then he turns the light off.
Ohhh mah gaaahd
hahaha XD





The one on the left was the my third camp?
Last major TMECULA ONLY Camp predominately with San marcos haha XD
oldschool.
and the one on the right was my FIRST Joining camp
oh mannn
where the hell did time go?



ehh Um.. *clears throat

Yeah..

Bhahahaahhahaha

Aside from Michael jackson's death,
this was one the more shocking things i've seen.

Fucking hilarious.
gah dang XD

Stoop kid's afraid to leave his Stoop!

Oh Gahd i LOVED oldschool Nickelodeon. XD That was like what made up half of my child hood other than moments of running around or playing with the neighborhood kids, i was sitting and watching Hey arnold or, what was the other one..
dangit i cant remember.. DX
CATDOG
Hell yeah!
The most hated show on Nickelodeon was the one i loved the most.
it made me hate cats for the sole purpose in which i thought they were stuck up
douchebags, and dogs were idiots who were funny.
Well, that goes to show how much i've learned about animals xP.

If you're agreeing with me on this, then you must still wonder stuff they HAVEN'T explained yet like.. What's Arnolds last name?
Or! if you're still a spongebob watcher-er whats the secret ingredient/es?!
or! in rugrats, did angelica really have a thing for tommy?
gahd.
Nostalgia all over again i swear xD

I still love nickelodeon.
Give me back my shows!
Back in the barnyard sucks ass!
XD

Put your back into it!

I'm going to the Bay this weekend. XD
Right onnn XD
i get to see my old family again and see my old house in haystack i mean hayward. XD
Oh btw.
if you haven't noticed, i really like country music.
because when i was driving across country with my dad, he always played
John denver and all these other artists.
and going from bloody rhode island to california, you tend to let your mind wander a little too much.
thus country kept me calm, and actually gave me something to look forward too.
shut up, take a look at what you listen too!
I drink i smoke i jerk?
wtf is that bullshiieeet?

hahaha all you need is
"sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy."
hahaha! XD
the world needs to smile a little more.


xD

Don't Worry, I'll be here.

I'm still standing.
that's plain and simple.
Yesterday was power day, to me it was similar to what pre-con SHOULD've been
for me.
it was powerful to say the least. XD
but there was something about it that screamed, "you made the good choice."
because the lord knows i had something "better" to do than go to power day.
However, im glad i did, it helped me realize alot of things i wasn't taught by the old people. In turn i guess i actually did learn something from power day, it was that no matter what you're gonna fall down, but it's entirely up to you if you want to stay on the ground or stand right back up.




Summer right now is going by steadily, and for that im enjoying it.
I had the grace to be able to see everyone that i haven't seen to much.
And that just put me in a better mood because dang, not being able to see
someone you miss for almost half a year really puts a damper on your thought process.
Probably why i did mediocre in school the end of junior year.
3.0.. YOU CAN DO IT BETTER! XD
but really though i have many goals for this summer.
and since im nocturnal im not about to sleep just yet.
So...
...
Lists!
everybody loves List.
Jovel told me to make a summer list because it'll make me
less bored.
So.
onto the breach my friends.

1. Visit Everyone I know in SoCal at least twice.
Oooo tall order.
2. Get 100 wins in UFC.
shut up im still a nerd i have 60 something.
3. Make ammends with everyone.
yep.
4. Visit Kristina Akanna.
Take my hand i can twist our lines for every situation.
5. Escape from something, and feel awesome about it.
Nothing death defying porfavor. XD
6. Slow Dance.
7. Go to a Daphne loves derby Concert.
8. Get Matts Afro!
Gahd he's from Nor-cal and he has the DOPEST Afro i've ever seen.
9. Shave my head.
10. just kidding, get a new haircut. XD
11. Ride a bike.
because who rides bikes these days?
12. Try hard to realize we might not be together anymore.
My mistake, i gotta live with it.
13. Perform with johnnie again!
Dinner dance was fun, although i forgot the verse. XD
14. Be closer to EVERYONE on the team even brandon and jesse and joey.
15. Realize my stuttering is caused by my mind not my mouth.
16. Hug her again.
17. Hawk my hair.
legit hawk.
18. Reminisce of the old times with people i've experienced it with.
19. Flip off Douchebags.
Whats more fun?
20. Have a dream so great that i want go to back to sleep.
because you start to pretend you're in it again xP
21. Teach Allyson how to use a Yo Yo.
22. Go on a mission trip
Dude that sounds DOPE!
23. Balroom dance :D
24. Get better at Dancing and Graf.
25. Learn how to House Dance.
26. Hang out with my Family more.
27. Extert my anger to something postive.
punching = no no.
28. Learn a BACKFLIP
29. Pwn somebody and say, U Mad.
30. Do just anything to know you'd still wait for me.
31. More..
blah XD

Like Something Out of a Movie.

Dinner Dance which was yesterday or two days ago, happened so fast and yet it was a wonderful start for summer.
The whole show in general was enjoyable albiet me and johnnie performed but still enjoyable haha xP
and it was basically all those cfc-y cats who haven't seen each other in like a year.
So it was mostly a reunion i guess you could say.

Allyson was there.
(this is a freaking novel.. haha)
yep
Ex girlfriend who i haven't spoken too ever since december
and ever since i stupidly stopped talking to her.
after about half a year without talking, it was the first time i saw her.
Now initially my reaction was just embarrassment and uh another word for scared.
because i didn't know what to say or how to approach this whole thing
so the first part of the night i was sitting across the floor while we were basically looking at each other for the whole night.

The Dance came on, and i was walking around with Johnnie; I said,
"Man i really want to just say something to her, to finally just
put things behind us but i just dont know how."
Johnnie then says, "Dude just do it, what's it going to hurt?"
Allyson's standing against a wall by herself looking at the stage,
Perfect moment i suppose.
i walk up...
then i cowardly walk back and punch a wall.
"i cant do it."
i stumble back to my chair and start to wonder, "this may
be my last chance to become friends with her again and put all this
behind us."
I stand up again
then swallow my pride, go close to her.
she looks nice.
right when im near her.
i touch her over the shoulder.
she has that same smile i fell in love with half a year ago.
"hey" she exclaims
"hey uh. can i talk to you?" i say while leading her outside.
"yeah sure"
that same smile.
we walk outside, and the night is blue not black.
i look out and just say "Hey im sorry for, all of that shit i did and
put you through, Junior year wasn't as good after that moment."
she puts her hat over her mouth, i think she's about to cry.
To my surprise she's smiling.
that same smile.
"yeah, it hasn't been to good for me either." she says.
i look back at her. she's still really short
i laugh a bit
she laughs too
"Dont make it awkward!!" she exclaims, punching my shoulder
"Hahaha im sorry! i always do, everything i do has some awkwardness to it."
"You never change david." she smiles again
"is that a good thing?"
"yeah." she says
we talk for an eternity or rather thirty minutes.
she has that same smile.
we hug.
i look down into her eyes.
she smiles.
"i forgive you." she says.
I smile back.
"i missed talking to you, it's been too long." i say.
she smiles.
we go back inside.
Slow dance and we're back in step again.
she leans in close to whisper sweet and sincere
it might not turn out like we plan
but i've got plenty of time on my hands.

The end.

Hm.

This year, like every high school year tends to give me a thoughtful lesson in the end. Freshman year taught me the value of losing someone close to you, and sophomore year taught me to swallow my pride focus more on the future rather than the past. Where as this year, is a little different. In the beginning of the year, I was told that junior year is the longest and difficult year in high-school. Well, whoever told me that wasn’t exactly lying but they forgot to mention one thing. They didn’t mention how much thinking you do over the year, and how much learning you go through outside of the education realm. If I could summarize one major theme I learned this year, it would be what Mr. Newman my English teacher said. Take time finding yourself and finding who you really are because there are so many distractions in the world that in other words, mask our identities. Although it was only a brief mention before we left for Spring Break, it’s one of the few times when one of my teachers actually made sense in the message in which they were portraying to their students.

Most of my teachers in the past had given me a piece of information that I’ve held onto for my whole school career. Some of them quite useful where as other teachers taught me absolutely nothing except to never end up like them. Case in point my first semester English teacher. AP English was supposed to be advanced English, or at least that’s what it said on the course sign up sheet, and seeing as English is my favorite subject, I opted to take it. However I actually did not learn a single thing while I was in that class, except how to analyze the same story for 2 months and going nowhere with it. But, when entering into Mr. Newman’s English class, I was genuinely surprised because on the first week I arrived, we actually discussed as a class about a specific subject. I was sort of, taken aback at the whole situation because I was just expecting to do busy work for the whole period, however the engaging conversations really opened my eyes to how much things you learn by experiencing them. The many discussions we had all aimed to help each and every single one of us students out in life, and for that I thank those lessons my English teacher gave us.

The main thing I learned this year however seemed to stem off of those other lessons. Although only a brief mention it seemed, the idea of finding yourself over the break really had me thinking. “Who am I truly?” Well looking at it in a literal sense, I’m a human male. But what makes us who we are? Is it our actions or activities we partake that make us identifiable? If so, it would seem I would be a dancer, who plays guitar as a hobby, and a youth-group leader. However, is that truly who I am? Or is it the person who I show to the rest of the world? These questions surprisingly manifested from that one statement, “Guys try to find yourself, and try to find who you really are, because of all the distractions in our lives, we lose who we really are.”

So over the course of spring break, I actually attempted to “find myself.” To much avail, I learned a lot about who I was. I learned that I loved connect the dots, reading, I disliked rap and hip-hop, yet the culture I’m in forced me to like it, and I’ve grown a liking to writing short stories. I had the basics of wants and interests; however the distractions that my English teacher mentioned were entirely materials. It soon became not wanting a new coloring book to wanting the new play station, and evolving from the band you liked as a kid to the band your friends like. Every single High-school student can agree with me that, what they are right now is not who they truly are, but who they’re trying to be. Because, do we really know who we are until we achieve what we’re aiming for dating back to kindergarten? We don’t, and that’s a plain fact; however what we should focus on is finding who you really want to be, and who you let shape your personality within your life.

The idea of finding yourself when put in perspective seems a little daunting, because how exactly do you “find yourself?” There’s no set pattern or set objective to finding yourself except you, and your will to realize who you are. That question still remains in my head because honestly, I don’t think I truly have found who I really am yet. Am I really this dancer who plays guitar and leads a youth group, and is an average student at school? Or am I truly just David, the boy who still stutters after many years.

This still escapes me, my teacher wanted to keep that essay for some reason?

whatever. i'll know later on.